The following describes a real sequence of events from early in the growth of this program.
Anthony and Iris are pseudonyms for two people actually involved with the development of this program.
Anthony and Iris were seniors introduced to each other via email by a woman each had met in conjunction with programs at the Senior Center in their city. They each needed a health care proxy, and neither had friends or family to draw on for that. Each had heard about the idea of consciously working with a stranger to develop enough friendship and trust to allow them designate each other as their proxies, and each had obtained a version of a list of prompts and questions suitable for such work with someone who is initially a stranger.
The two of them first met in person when both attended a health care proxy clinic put on by the local bar association. That clinic simply laid out the basics of what a health care proxy is and what the process of designation involved in their state. Anthony and Iris chatted about the problem of finding a proxy for a few minutes before the clinic.
Afterwards, as they were leaving together, Anthony swallowed hard and asked Iris, "Would you like to try working with that list, with me?" Iris replied, "Yes. Now?" To which Anthony agreed. They found a coffeeshop, and spent the next half-hour each of them answering these two questions at some length:
What's something you've learned from a past friendship or romantic relationship that's stuck with you?Feeling satisfied with the start they had made, they agreed to meet again the following week, in another coffeeshop. At their second meeting, they further pursued questions from the list and also began talking a bit more freely about their lives. Anthony had a short trip scheduled beginning the following week, and was not comfortable enough yet with their work to sign the proxy papers before leaving. So there was a two week interruption in their conversations, which then continued weekly after his return.
and
What's a book, movie, or piece of art that has profoundly impacted you?
After a bit over two months, they had reached the point of both feeling that they had built up a moderate friendship sufficient for their goals. Through their conversations, they both had developed confidence that the other would fulfill the duties of their health care proxy. So they created the necessary paperwork, arranged for witnesses, and signed as each other's proxy.